So I'm home now and feeling a bit at a loss. It was such a hectic semester with more work than I've ever done in any previous one, but now it's over. I already have a long list of all the things I need to do for Peru, but those things are easy and painless compared to all the research papers- so I guess it's happy summer to me. I feel like I'm forgetting something.
I went to boston on saturday to hang out with a bunch of swedish ladies to get my scholarship for study abroad. they really got me all excited about going and now i'm looking into swedish lessons for the fall. if you know anyone who gives swedish lessons or speaks swedish at uconn, let me know.
on a more spiritual note, i'm really looking forward to the atmosphere at SALI. I know being a Christian is not about "feeling" spiritual or pious, and it's a good thing because I don't. Still, I know I'm not depending on God like I should and desire to, and if I'm honest with myself, I'm really holding Him and His plans for me at arms length. I don't trust that He is good. I know my sinful heart, and I know I deserve wrath- so accepting His love is difficult. Why is it so hard for us to accept grace and mercy? Because they're free? I'm an earner and not being able to earn God's love is an alien concept to my nature. I really hope that this summer I will have some time to just be still, and know that He is God, and to just dwell in His free love and mercy.
I've been wondering about this for the last few days- why does everyone see themselves as victims? I think I'm a victim because so-and-so hurt me, meanwhile so-and-so thinks he's a victim because I hurt him. Our culture tells us to shift the blame, so it's not surprising that we view conflict this way, but how will we ever get over it if we're both harboring bitterness?
3 comments:
I was wondering about that today actually. I am such a blame shifter, and it's kind of freeing to say, "Nope, yeah, I did that. It's my fault."
Having a good relationship with God is so hard. That's what I've been thinking about here at summer conference.
We miss you! Oh, and congratulations on getting the Swedish scholarship! That's amazing! I'm so excited for you!
Ok little miss Sweden. Unbelievable..so all your scholarship applications were not for naught. Really, congratulations, you deserve it. I hope you'll continue your blog (found it on facebook). You are being prayed for. Please add updates.
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